Back to where you belong

Alhamdulillah, finally he has reached home and sleep rite now. Daymnnn, I thought he has died or something -.- Luckily he called me just now and said sorry for not informed me when he has return KL. Aww, thanks for still remembering me :')

I hope he can see me tomorrow cause I've been waiting for him like 2 weeks. Sighhh. I miss you, Kepeng! Please show your face in front of me. I need you.

Jealous much

I hate seeing people went out with her boyfriend and holding hand so tight like they are not gonna let their couple go away. The world seems happy for them but not a single person like me. Sobs. I really want to be one of them. I wanna show my boyfriend to everyone. I wanna tell the whole world that hes the one and the best thing I ever had. I wanna make a relationship status with my boyfriend and all my friends will like it on Facebook. I wanna capture some photos with my boyfriend and post them constantly on Facebook where all my friends will get jealous of me because I have such a wonderful and sporting boyfriend. Because not all boys love taking pictures with their loved ones and show it off. I wanna spend all day long with my boyfriend without any interruptions from his friends nor mine. I wanna support every single things that my boyfriend do. I wanna follow my boyfriend everywhere he goes but never make he feels like m such a burden for him. I wanna hang out with my boyfriend's friends and get closed with them and act like part of it. I wanna make the entire world happy for me cause I have such a greatest lovely boyfriend who always loves me for who I am. I really want something like that :'(

In shocked

Heard from someone that he already broke up with his girlfriend for some good reason; idk whats the reason. I was still in shocked knowing that hes no longer with her. Ya Allah, m really thankful for that. Alhamdulillah. It means I have a brighter future with him. But m so afraid at the same time. M afraid if he wont pick me up to be his girlfriend. M afraid if he changes his mind and turn around for someone else. M afraid if he doesnt love me anymore. M afraid of losing him! I hope dats me he always thinking of and always be me.

With that i-dont-care-what-the-fuck-your-girlfriend-feeling, I knoe m so mean. I should knoe how she feels. If I were her, I swear I will kill that girl who ruin my sweet lovey dovey relationship. But with not knowing theres a third party behind their relationship, m safe. I guess she will never knoe that m exist and had taken his loved ones away from her. For that, m really sorry. I didnt mean it. Its all beyond my control. I should knoe my limit after this. Stop crossing line, Syudd! This is the last and never repeat the same mistake again.

Missing you

You knoe that I always wanted you to be mine someday somehow. I said I would wait for that. But when I think of it, I will keep wondering. Will you can really be mine? Will you just belong to me and no others can have you? Will you have your time spend only for me and not for other person? Will that happen? Urghh, I cant seem to find the answer. M lost.

I love you. Thats the only thing I knoe. You've brought me happiness. You showed me how beautiful life can be. Without you, I can see the sorrow in my life. You always lighten me up. You gave me something that I can be able to put into words. You're my everything. Without you my life would be incomplete. Thanks for every single thing you did for me. I appreciate it so much.

But will all the things you did for me keep cycling in my world? M so afraid if I lose you. If I lost in my fight; fight for you. I dont wanna lose. I hate losing. I want you always. I need you. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. You're my other half, Sayang. Please stay, dont go. M begging you :'(

I cant wait to meet you this saturday. Please return home safely and meet me as soon as possible ok? I miss you so damn much! Only God knoes how much it hurts to not see you in 2 weeks. Its soooooooooooooooooo long. I miss your heartbeat. Come back faster eh Sayanggg. I need you here. 2 weeks are like 2000 years. Daymnnn pretty shit. I miss you like crazy, MSAN.

New Chapter

Its been ages since I last posted anything here. M sorry because I dont hav time to update you with my crappy stories. LOL. Lifes been hard for me nowadays. As a teenager, I guess I've grown up way too fast. Sometimes I just dont knoe whether this is the real me or not. I've changed, totally! M not that girl you used to knoe back then. Try me now, you will see the new me. I bet you.

As time flies by, I've met a lot of men in my life. To be exact, my exes. I really miss them, I do. Even though they hav done shit to me, I still forgive them. People make mistakes rite? They deserve to be forgiven. But if you ask me whether I still love one of them, my answer is NO. After tears by tears run down to my face, its hard for me to put my trust on them anymore. M really tired of drama. Its useless, I realized it.

After years of disappointment, I finally found someone better than all the men I've met before. I just get to knoe him in this year. Its too early but who can deny love? I always remind myself dont ever fall for anybody anymore, but I just did. Harhar. He treats me so well and he knoes exactly when m in worse. Hes always there for me to catch my tears. He takes note in every words I said to him. Hes everything and hes the one that I want for the rest of my life but I knoe its impossible. Only me and certain people who closed to me knoe why is it so impossible for him to be mine. God knoes better, let Him handle it. I just need to hav faith. InsyaAllah, if we're meant to be together, we will be.